A contemporary literature course? I can do that! Two days of class a week? No problem! Class granny? That’s me! No time to shower, brush my teeth, or apply deodorant anymore because I’m too busy reading, stressing, and taking notes for this thing? You bet!
Honestly, most nights I wonder why I decided to go back to school. This class is creating far more stress in my life than I imagined, and normally benign experiences for me (like shoving one too many heads of cabbage down the garbage disposal thus creating a dam somewhere deep within the bowels of our kitchen plumbing) are causing some university-sized meltdowns.
The class is actually kind of fun in a sadistic kind of way, but I have learned that because I’m a half century older than all of the other students in the room, they seem to think I know all of the answers. Maybe it’s because often times when the instructor asks us a question, I look as if I’m deep in thought. Little do they realize, I’m merely sleeping with my eyes open because the class stretches about 1 hour 45 minutes past my bedtime.
And tonight we had a test. I think I should have taken an extra swig of Geritol before I sat down in my desk because I was stumped by mystical terms like “post modernism”, “contrast and comparison”, and “write your answer in the space provided below” that were typed across the page. I reall hope the instructor liked my doodles and the drawing of a cat I drew for question number three because I have absolutely no idea how magical realism was used in one of the Latin American poems we were supposed to read last week (and let me put the emphasis on supposed to). Besides the cat drawing, most of my test answers sucked.
Two more weeks of this and then I’ll be free. Free to watch “Dance Mom’s again on Tuesday nights. Free to snooze on my deck in the evening with a glass of wine clutched in one hand and my an iPod loaded with rockin’ 80’s tunes in the other. Free to read romance novels and comics instead of depressing poems and cryptic stories that make about as much sense as the words that are being spelled out via spider veins on my left leg.
Two more weeks and this class granny will celebrate.