Mrs. Roper with husband, Mr. Roper

Stella and I went shopping last weekend for clothes and this time to my dismay, we were actually shopping for me. I never go shopping for myself anymore. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown to despise it and usually leave the mall vowing that my new best friend will be a medicine ball and that I’ll never eat another crumb of food as long as I live.

The shopping trip was definitely disturbing, to say the least.  Whoever designs the stuff that they’re trying to sell to women these days is sadistic. The entire afternoon we were at the mall, I was having 70’s flashbacks – and not the pleasant kind, either. It was the bad “Three’s Company” sitcom kind of flashback with a wardrobe that was swiped directly out of Mrs. Roper’s closet. Everything on the store’s racks were sheer, drapey poncho-inspired blouses that are unflattering on anyone who doesn’t have the physique of a swizzle stick.

Inside one chic and groovy store, a determined Stella shuffled through racks studying each garment intensely. “Try these on, Mom,” Stella said handing me a myriad of hangers, each holding one of the ridiculous-looking jumbo-sized blouses.

“I can’t wear this kind of top, Stella. They make me look like a windsail.”

“Mom! Stop it! Just try them on…”

I grabbed the armload of hangers and headed to the dressing room. I knew if Stella saw her good ‘ol mom dressed in this sort of costume it would shout the message loud and clear. So, one by one, I put the blouses on and modeled them for her making sure each pose accentuated my positive features  — my muffin top and turkey wings.

Her exact words each time I opened the dressing room door were along the line of  “Ugh,” and “Ohhhhhh,” and finally, “Yeah. I see what you mean…”

It didn’t take long before “hip and groovy” was abandoned for something that fell more into the category of “functional and versatile.” I ended up getting a camisole with a little “bling” additive and a couple of yawn-colored blazers.

Despite the fact that the shopping trip was rather traumatic for me from a fashion standpoint, Stella and I had a really great time together. She even scored a new pair of jeans and a blouse. And besides having a great mom/daughter afternoon, we enjoyed a bonus mocha together at the coffee shop and discussed college life and stinky boys.

It’s kind of funny, we set out to find some new clothes for me but I think we took a lot more away from the day than just a couple of new things to hang in the closet. So, I guess that old saying is true: “Too often we are so preoccupied with the destination, we forget the journey.” I’m glad our journey took us farther than just the mall.

What do you think of current fashion? Do you enjoy shopping more as you get older or less?

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31 Responses to “I Don’t Wear the Mrs. Roper Look Very Well”

  • Me says:

    So glad to hear you had such a great time. K and I have been spending quite a lot of time together as A has been working away from home a lot and it has been great for both of us.

    Love, hugs and positive energy with wishes for a great week.

  • I’m glad you guys got to spend some time together! I know you don’t get very many of those days, with her away in college.

  • Jean says:

    To the readers who don’t know you…Diane has a great figure…no muffin top and turkey wings! LOL! But I do agree with you wholeheartedly about the odd state of women’s fashion these days. Another thing harkening back to the 70s are the bold-print/colors polyester type blouses and dresses. And the thing that really irks me (thanks for showing it on Mrs. Roper) are the goofy sleeves. I hate bell-styled sleeves (or whatever they’re called) whether they are short sleeves or long. I can’t imagine them being attractive on anybody. But don’t worry – we’re headed into spring in the northern climes, my other pet-peeve is women’s shorts, capris, bermudas, etc. with tie strings on the bottom. What do we need those for? Are they supposed to keep us from falling out of ’em?

    • Diane says:

      A corsette and body stocking hides a lot but thanks, Jean.

      I thought these flowy, “27 sizes too big-looking” blouses and tops were indeed spring fashions?? Geesh…they could almost double as a 6 man tent if you ever wore them camping.

      And duh, Jean. The ties aren’t to keep you from falling out. They’re to hold your knees up.

  • I’ve never enjoyed shopping- like ever! It’s not really about the clothes although I have some serious issues with how a size 10 is so generously open to interpretation so you have to end up trying on like 4 sizes to find the right one. I don’t have that much time!

    This probably explains how I not only fell off the fashion wagon, but it left me sitting in the road and it’s now like ten miles ahead of me!

  • Diane says:

    I hear you. I love the way they size things to make you “feel better” about what you’re wearing. I guess they think we silly women are that gullible, huh?

  • Alison says:

    I am not a shopping fan or a mall fan. Really glad for Internet shopping; saves me time, and, very often money. Had a good laugh at the “Mrs. Roper look.” LOL!

    • Diane says:

      Well, that’s what it all looked like! Except I think Mrs. Roper actually looked lot better in that stuff than I did. I’m with you. I actually told my daughter I would rather shop online…I just hate trudging from store to store! Blech!

  • Beader Bubbe says:

    At my age…65…I hate shopping….I seem to be an internet shopper more, but that is for “stuff” not clothes. I tend to clothes shop twice a year….summer/spring and then fall/winter….and since I shop big size, the styles are limited…but I am happy with what I do have, it’s clean and fits me..

    • Diane says:

      I think internet shopping is probably the way to go although, if you need something new in a hurry that can make things difficult. I would much rather shop for “stuff,” too!! Thanks for your comment!

  • Kim says:

    I am not trendy at all and pretty much stick to conservative Eddie Bauer, Lands End, those kinds of stores. Recently I found myself at Chico’s and had to laugh–everyone in there had at least 10 years on me!!! Nothing wrong with the clothes, (expensive though!) My daughter was caught up in the show What Not to Wear and I indulged her once in a shopping trip where she could “make me over!” She picked the most hideous things that I would never wear! We both laughed and enjoyed the mother daughter time though. That was fun!

    • Diane says:

      I have never seen a Chico’s around here but I’ve heard they’re expensive. I like a few basics too, but I kind of like to have a FEW fun things every once in a while!

      Funny how our kids find the weird stuff for us to try on, isn’t it? Did you buy any of the things she chose for you?

  • Byn says:

    OMG, are you me? I HATE shopping anymore. Everything is either frumpy or just ridiculous. Its depressing!!! I wish there was an in between, but I’ve been wishing for that for the last decade!!

    • Diane says:

      I think a bunch of us need to get together and create our own clothing line. What do you think? And “frumpy” and “ridiculous” are PERFECT descriptions of what’s out there right now!

  • Michelle says:

    I loved your article and i used to LOVE that show!! No, I don’t really enjoy shopping anymore, since I left the work force. I think when I do return back into the workforce, i will enjoy dressing up and shopping :)
    But for now, i am happy in my jeans and tee’s and runners :)

    • Diane says:

      That show used to be the “cool” one to watch when I was younger. That one and “Starsky and Hutch.” And maybe fashions will be a bit cuter by the time you return to work! :)

  • So glad you had a great time … I miss shopping with my mom.

    As for fashion… Ugh. I DESPISE shopping because of the current styles… Ugh.

  • Sue says:

    Pretty funny stuff, but true on the fashions. Let’s all hope they don’t sell and next year will be better. Loved your post!

  • Imelda says:

    These days, I find shopping a torture. Maybe, because I am the only female in the family and males have their own shopping styles.

    Shopping is best done with another female. I think part of the fun of shopping is not really the buying part – but the company, the chitchat, just like what you had with your daughter. What a fun time that was. :-)

    I enjoyed your post.

    Best regards, Imelda

    • Diane says:

      I agree with you! I love shopping with my daughter…we almost always have fun when we do it. Unless we’re looking for something for ME. Thanks for your comment!

  • sandra tyler says:

    love this! I so agree. Since I had children, I never shop for myself anymore either, and if I did, I seem to have lost all sense of what would actually look decent on me or not. The thing is, as a middle-aged mom I’ve increased in that middle area, so these flowy things might hide that. I wouldn’t know, since I woulddn’t dare try one on. So it’s back to practical LandsEnd.

    • Diane says:

      Sandra, I found that “flowy” stuff just made me look all-around bigger. And I’ll go to Lands End, too. They have some really cute things in their catalog this spring. Have you seen some of the cute shoes? Ooh la la! Thanks for your comment!

  • You are so right– I understand that things come back in style, but I really do not want to wear the stuff I did 20 or 30 years ago. We’ve all moved on since then– and I really do not enjoy the trips to the mall like I did when I was young and skinny. There has to be a happy medium they can offer between total frump and all- out clown…I will dig deeper in my closet till then.

    • Diane says:

      Ha! Clown! That’s exactly it! I’m hoping for greener pastures come fall. Someone needs to design some decent clothes for groovy “older” chicks like us!

  • By the way, LOVE your blog, added to my Google Reader and reviewed you on Alexa— so glad to see a Mommy Blog by someone closer to my own age:)

    • Diane says:

      Oh yay! Thank you very much! I appreciate that. And yes…I grow a bit weary of the diaper bags and playdate blogs, too. There are some really great ones out there but I get pretty pumped when I find blogs written by someone a bit (ahem) more mature. Stop by soon and thanks again!

  • Melanie S says:

    You must have been channeling me when you wrote this one!

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