For a while, Noah, our 14 year old, seemed to be guzzling way too many soft drinks. I’m not a huge fan of kids drinking a lot of pop so I decided to start buying more juice for him. Then, doing what teenagers do best, he started guzzling a carton a day of orange juice so I had to limit him with that, too. Thank goodness, much of the time he now opts for water. It’s hard to drink too much of it, it’s calorie-free, it doesn’t cause cavities (unless he decides to pair it with a Snickers bar or gummy worms), and it’s cheap.

Occasionally, we’ll let him get an energy drink and when we do that, Monster is his beverage of choice. Every once in a while he’ll find a new flavor on the grocery shelf and say, “Mom, you have got to try this. You’ll like this one. I promise.” After the can is forced at me and I’ve taken an infant-sized sip, I usually scrunch my face up and dramatically pound my chest with my fist. “Ugh…it’s awful. I could clean windows with this!  It tastes like Windex!” (And by the way…yes I do know what Windex tastes like. I’m not a window cleaning solution connoisseur anything but I did discover what it tastes like quite by accident during a careless glass-cleaning incident a few years ago).

So, why any parent would encourage their kid to drink this stuff full of covert ingredients and chemicals is beyond me (sorry energy drink companies but I give the taste of your products a foam finger-sized thumbs down).  And that, my friends, is my segue to the meat and potatoes of this post.

If you’re like me, you may have seen a few TV realty shows. Older shows like “Fear Factor” and “The Apprentice” have given way to a new breed of reality television with “Storage Wars,” “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” and my personal favorite, “Dance Moms” (mostly because, unfortunately, I can relate to that situation a way too much). I don’t usually watch a lot of these programs but when Stella comes home from college for the weekend, we grab our snacks and our fuzziest blankets and let the TiVo mayhem roll. However, there is one show she always records that I can barely stomach, even with a giant bowl of potato chips and a bucket of dip in my lap: “Toddlers and Tiaras.”

If you’ve ever watched the show, it basically highlights 3 or so girls per episode who are kicking and screaming their way through beauty pageant preparations with the hope (or more like, their mother’s hope) of becoming crowned “Grand Supreme” or “Royal Treat” (or something like that). If they win, they usually receive a cash prize and behemoth crown that looks like it is more appropriately scaled to fit a kid with a head the size of a hot air balloon than a toddler.

Anyway, the kids and parents on this show are always a little bit…well… “off.” And not in a good way. It’s pretty clear that the producers just find the quirkiest bunch of parents and kids that they can for the sake of show ratings. Each episode consists of a whole lot of blood curdling toddler screams, pancake makeup, spray tans, fake teeth, Dolly Parton-esque wigs and mothers living vicariously through their children. In other words, if you dare to watch it, you’ll be ready to stab yourself in the eye before the first commercial break.

What blows me away is how a few of the kids that appear on this show always seem to end up on the morning news or with their stories splashed across the front of a national magazine. Most of the stories highlight the kids’ tantrums or how little pageant girls are being exploited. But the latest story whirling around the news circuit is one highlighting a 6-year old named Alana whose mom loads her up on competition day with a potion she concocts in her kitchen called “Go Go Juice” that combines Red Bull and Mountain Dew.


See Video of Honey Boo Boo Child here 
WARNING: Viewing parts of this video may make you want to punch a wall.


If/when you watch a clip of this kid (who calls herself  Honey Boo Boo Child) you’ll see her mommy commanding her to drink the Go Go Juice between frenzied, obnoxious outbursts on competition day. After viewing this, I found myself ducking behind the sofa as I awaited the inevitable fallout. And yup…and to my dread it eventually happened. Everything you don’t want your kid to do or say while in a crowd of people (much less on national television).

In an interview featured on Good Morning America Honey Boo Boo’s mom, Shannon explained, “When [the kids] do get onstage, they have to be alive, and your personality has to shine. You have to have something to energize their body.”

Hmmm…funny because for years we’ve been told that adequate sleep, a balanced diet, and exercise will help increase and maintain energy. And isn’t this particularly important for a kid? Heck, I was worried about mine drinking too much orange juice. At least with that there are no “mystery” ingredients involved.

I dunno. I just seems weird that in this day and age when people are striving to buy organic foods, eat more fruits and vegetables, and prepare healthy, low-fat meals that a parent would willingly hop their kid up on a Molotov cocktail that includes caffeine and  a mystery ingredient-filled energy drink — then wait for them to blow up in front of their peers (and America). But then again, that whole weird pageant thing is something I don’t understand, anyway. At all.

Have you watched “Toddlers and Tiaras?” If so, do you want to leap off of a building afterward? What do you think of a parent who will go to unusual, sometimes drastic measures, with the ultimate goal of winning a competition?

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14 Responses to “Honey Boo Boo Child, Go Go Get a Vegetable”

  • Kim says:

    I have watched this show a few times and my jaw drops every time! It’s really sick and any psychologist or counselor would have a field day with some of these families. Usually I’m just sad that these little girls are growing up from day one with these images and ideas of how to please the “judges” and perform to be the top one. The behavior they display and what these parents allow is distressing to say the least.

    • Diane says:

      Oh boy…you said it. And they are so trained into this mindset, it’s scary. The spray tans, false eyelashes, and makeup are what really kill me. One kid had a costume on that gave her a “bustline.” Insane!

  • Jean says:

    I’ve watched it too…but not recently. I’m always amazed at the time and money invested in these pageants. Wouldn’t athletics be more productive? In sports kids learn they can excell personally while learning the give and take of being part of a team. Seems that would better prepare them for life.

    I’ll bet after impaling your eyeballs on Toddlers & Tiaras, Noah’s consumption of soft drinks looks pretty mild by comparison!

  • Diane says:

    Here, here! The money that is spent on this stuff is ridiculous and the cash payout for a win doesn’t even come close. But yes…I agree that ANY type of team activity — sports, band, choir, debate, clubs — would build better character than this.

  • Byn says:

    OMG, I’ve watched exactly one clip of that show and I definitely wanted to punch a wall!!!

    I refuse to buy soda, we’ve never really kept it in the house. I can’t afford to keep my kids supplied with juice either, like you said, they guzzle it down in minutes. I will sometimes buy natural flavorings, but mostly we stick with water and herbal teas. In the summer I’ll keep a pitcher of water in the fridge with different chopped up fruits and whatnot. I don’t like all the chemical laden stuff at all.

    • Diane says:

      I think we may need to form a anger management support group just for those people have had the misfortune of seeing that show. I only wish I had come up with the idea for the show because people seem to clamor to watch it.

      I was starting to get worried about how MUCH juice Noah was drinking. I started reading about the negative effects of vitamin C and the acid from the juice and it was sort of alarming.

  • I don’t watch it. I won’t watch it. I boycott and encourage others to do so!!! How in the world can anyone condone Toddlers and Tiaras?

  • I’m a pretty liberal person myself, but I really think those pageants should be outlawed once and for all. I can’t see ANYTHING good coming from the practice of dressing and painting little kids like that.

  • Diane says:

    Agreed! I can only believe that the parents (moms) have some weird personal insecurity that compels them to get their kids involved in this sort of thing. Maybe they think they’re doing something really positive for these children but looking in from the outside, I think many of us see it MUCH differently! Thanks for your comment!

  • Oh yes, I’ve seen that dreadful show. In fact, the first time I watched it (with my 10 yr old..she seems to get a kick out of it), the “Honey Boo Boo” child and her obnoxious mom was on it. Ugh. I wanted to do alot more than punch a wall, let me tell you. I think it’s awful!!

  • Diane says:

    Well, I have to say I kind of get a kick out of it, too. But not in a good way!!

  • Tricia says:

    I watched a clip where that mom was nominated for worst mom of the year. That is one vulgar woman. I’ve watched episodes in disbelief. Although, I did see one where a funny, sweet girl seemed to genuinely love the competition. She ad libbed and was quirky. She ended up winning some meager honorable mention for her personality and the family was thrilled for her even being mentioned. That seemed pretty normal to me. They seemed like it could have been a phase like ballet or sports that old pass, and if it did, whatever….I dont mind too much when I see families like tha but you don’t see it that often on tv.

  • No you don’t see those often, do you? And you can only hope it’s a passing fancy.

    I must ask…did you see the clip of the mom being interviewed when she burped. Classy all the way. One thing I think of when I watch the clips of “Boo Boo” is that their time would probably be better invested in some speech therapy for that little girl. Sad, but true.

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