Courtesy of TV Timewarp

Today on my way to run a few errands, I dropped my son off at the salon for a hair cut. Yes, I said salon (And guys, don’t pretend you all actually still go to a barber to get your hair cut. Everyone knows they’re extinct).

Noah’s hair grows fast and wild and had mutated from last month’s neat and respectable “A” student-type haircut into a furious bloom of long curls that many locals refer to as “hockey hair”. I don’t understand that reference so I choose to simply call Noah’s most recent hairstyle as being a Peter Cut… as in Peter from the Brady Bunch. Anyway, it was long, wavy, and was annoying Noah just enough that he was actually begging me for a haircut.

So, on my way to return some foolish eggnog induced pre-Christmas purchases, I dropped Noah off at the beauty shop. After returning my stuff, I casually browsed around a couple of stores, then returned to the salon to pick Noah up.

When I entered the shop where I had left him a mere half hour earlier, he was nowhere to be seen. I knew he had no possible way to pay for the haircut himself (and even if he did, he certainly wouldn’t waste his money on grooming expenses) so he couldn’t have left at is own volition. Slightly panicked, I darted past a bald man sitting in the waiting area to the back of the shop — no Noah.  I sped back toward the entrance, certain that some freak had kidnapped my son but the only people in sight were two giggling girls comparing nail polish behind the receptionist desk and Mr. Baldy who was still seated in a chair reading a magazine — probably waiting for his wife to finish getting her hair dyed.

I was sprinting out the door to scan the sidewalk when Mr. Baldy called out to me, “Mom. Mommm!!”

Seriously? That hairless dude actually thinks I’m his mother?

Rather annoyed, I stopped and turned toward the man and was shocked with disbelief when standing before me was my bald, 5 foot 11 inch 14 year old son. Okay. He wasn’t actually completely bald but pretty darned close with just a fraction of an inch of hair sprouting across his head.

How did this happen? I had dropped off a floppy-haired teen age boy and 30 minutes later, was picking up a hairless middle aged man. I wasn’t digging this new “do.”

Wordless, I paid for the hair cut and on the way to the car I turned to Noah and asked wryly, “Wow…Do you like it?”

“Yah,” Noah said, “It makes me look tough.”

So, this is what tough looks like now? Back in my day, the only kids that had hair this short were the ones who were sentenced to the shame of a buzzcut by their parents — usually  after some heinous  crime like being caught by their dad smoking weed behind the garage, or if their mom accidentally found a pint of blackberry brandy stuffed inside a tube sock in their underwear drawer while putting laundry away. In the 80’s,” tough” and “buzzcut” were never, ever used in the same sentence.

“I see…” I said. “As long as you like it, that’s good.”

Once inside the car, he ran his hand over his stubble. “It feels like the gerbil’s fur.”

At that moment he went from being Mr. Baldy back to my son, Noah. If looking like a skinhead is what he digs right now, so be it. There are a lot worse things I could be dealing with than a hairdo that doesn’t meet my mommish fashion standard. Sometimes, you need to pick your battles, especially when it comes to teenagers.

I ran my hand over his newly cut hair, too. “Yup. You’re right. It feels just like rodent fur.”

Do you fret about your child’s sense of  “style?” Do you have certain rules regarding the way they dress, their makeup, or hair?

Like my blog? Cast a vote by clicking the banner below. It’s easy AND super fun! Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory

8 Responses to “Bald is Beautiful”

  • Hey There, I found you
    VIA the New Years Blog hop;
    I’m now following you every which way I could find
    hope you can take a sec to check me out
    I’d love another follower <3

  • HA!!! What a funny post! My son, also 14 is at the “salon” at this very moment getting his brady bunch curls cut off. People call him Justin Beiber for the way his bangs fall — and he’s had enough Beiber fever to last a lifetime…. especially now that it comes from strangers :)

    As to your question, with two teens, hair cuts are the least of my worries. I do stand firm on piercings, gauges and tattoos (not that they’re old enough)…. our rule: If it’s permanent, you must wait until after I’m done paying your health insurance to do it. If you still want to when you’re on your own, go for it.

    • Diane says:

      Hi Karen!

      I don’t blame your son. My son DESPISES Justin Bieber and comments that he looked like him would never fly!

      We have also had a tattoo come up around here…I wrote a post about that a few weeks back: If my daughter wants a tattoo, she’ll have to pay for it herself (but I do like the health insurance rule). And as a college student, right now she’d have to make the choice between food or a tattoo…

  • Penelope says:

    Lol, he cut it all off?? My husband does this too, I think all those baldies on tv are inspiring them :) (my husband cut it very short because he is a cop, and then when he started to lose his hair he just had them shave it all)

    I voted for you!

    • Diane says:

      Pretty much! And my husband does the same thing but will never shave to the point where he looks like Mr. Clean (but if he actually fit the part, I’d let him). And off and on, he’ll grow a bit of facial hair (I call it the devil beard) which is kind of a “treat” for him. He was a firefighter for 15 years and was required to have a bald face so that masks would fit securely during a fire.

      Thanks Penelope!

  • Linda (Me) says:

    We have had some shockers with my daughter’s hair cuts – at the time she thought it was lovely – I didn’t – now she looks at photos and blames me for letting her have it like that. There have been plenty of discussions and reminders about who actually wanted it ! Those photos always provide her Dad and I with lots of laughs – at her expense – sometimes she laughs withus and sometimes she just rolls her eyes at us !

    I am loving reading your blog because I can relate to it so much more than the new Mom’s who talk about their kids all the time.

  • Lexie Smith says:

    I don’t blame you a bit. I came home from a trip with my folks and my husband had cut his hair way too short. He had used the clippers and the guard fell off.

    Of course I didn’t recognize him at the airport. It did grow back thankfully. At least it will grow back. Thank goodness for that right!

Leave a Reply

Heard on NPR
Nationally Syndicated WNYC

Pick the Topic